Must Read | The Deeper Aspect of Marriage In Africa

An African Traditional Marriage

Marriage is a beautiful thing that has transpired in the world. Many people would marry because of the romantic part of it and which gives one goosebumps and the other anxiety and shyness. The other part about it is the spiritual and traditional part of it. As we come from different cultural backgrounds, it can bring us closer or be a setback in our union. Our family dynamics affect how the marriage will be handled as the bride and groom come into the picture. It is not always rosy because family members would come in between to either break us apart or use methods to aggravate us if we are strong enough to handle them and their traditions. Especially in this modern-day, where many of us Africans have thrown away our cultural and deepest love for Africa and chosen the European ways of living which is a disadvantage. The scary part is how will our children grow. Are they going to follow traditions and live the lives of other people or not but live the lives of their own families? Couples must consider these things as times have changed, where African children would grow up in the townships, slums and villages, getting more and more wiser and strongest. But for African children who grew up in the cities and suburbs, it is a whole different life unless they experience hardship from their parents e.g. Narcissistic parenting. Marriage is not only for two people but for their entire family including the children. That is why an ANKH CROSS was presented because of such topics like this.

The ANKH CROSS is the union of all people but the system has made marriage seem like it is only two people which is a false reality that many of the couples are living now because of toxic family dynamics, religion, media and society. Many Africans would practice their culture, traditions and norms without a deeper understanding of where they are coming from and why they are often practised. Whether from Roman catholic traditions or even African traditions, we all need clarification on why such was practised till this day.

In the African custom, marriage was something that many people considered valuable even today in most African communities it is regarded as such. Though in this age marriage is valued on the wrong terms such as money, power and sometimes romantic feelings or emotion. When during meant the olden days, people used to marry to keep the ancestral bloodline flowing and pure. People would only marry their own calibre. (The law of attraction) People with light energies would marry those with light energies and people with dark energies, would marry those with dark energies, as simple as ABC. But today’s world, people sleep with anyone including those with dark energies and you wonder why their lives are so hard. People would say love makes you go crazy but they do not know that love is freedom and freedom is peace.

Though romantic love was also the reason to get married it was from the confirmation of the ancestors that the couple should marry each other. Many people in ancient times, would listen to their intuition about the person they are in love with if either they are good for them or not, hence many people were possessed with a high level of psychic abilities to determine right and wrong. The reason why many people would involve their ancestors in their love lives is to avoid issues like separation and divorce. To have a perfect and peaceful union between the two lovers, children and in-laws. But today many people especially women would visit a traditional healer, prophets etc. at times the one who vibrates lower could help through doing rituals that would strengthen the marriage but without even praying and asking the Highest Creator and ancestors to confirm if the couple is meant to be or not. That is why at times, the ritual would not be really successful no matter how hard did the woman do because the man was not involved in it. He does not know about it and the possibility might be they were not meant to be. In the olden days, both men and women knew that marriage would challenging as time goes by so they came up with a technique to go to a traditional healer for a love portion that would be used on both of them so that the relationship would be smooth. But today, unfortunately, most men do not believe in spirituality especially when it is from a woman, because the system and society have devalued a woman in so many ways that even a man in the relationship would not listen to her. It is so sad, some of our men do not take to understand spirituality, because of the programming they have about spirituality but in my view, it is due to the religious psychosis that men shall not listen to a woman especially he is considered the “head”. Little do they know that women are mostly the key to spirituality. Many women are very spiritual and intuitional than men but that is an article for another day. Now you know why many women would risk going to prophets, herbalists, pastors for spiritual things in their lives. A woman is naturally a highly spiritual being that is why in ancient times she was considered as a God being amongst men. She was the leader of the household not through the nonsense the religious and educational psychosis we get from the system from time to time.

Marriage is not romance only but about the kind of family you are marrying into. A lot of people do not search the spiritual background of their in-laws, hence why at times we would hear issues like divorce/separation amongst couples. Marriage is not about marrying your partner. It is not a fairy tale, to be honest. Once you marry, your responsibilities are increasing, both for you, your partner, children, family and in-laws. You marry the entire family including family traditions, cultures and norms. That is why elders in ancient times would choose their children’s life partners to avoid problems like genetic psychological disorders, dark energies etc. Although some cultures in Africa such as the Igbo kingdom, before someone marries, they ask questions if the person they are getting married to is genetically fine and not being involved in risky, dark spiritual stuff because sometimes, the person would have all qualities they look for in a partner if the partner’s family and ancestry does not meet that criteria, you best believe, separation is going to take place, whether the couples like it or not.

Your family dynamics are the most important thing right now, especially when embarking on your spiritual journey. You can have all the qualities that your in-laws would want from you but if your own family does meet your own qualities, the marriage will not work. That is why it is important to do shadow work, work on your traumas so that you can be free on a spiritual, mental and emotional level. The only thing to do is to search your history as an African. Research on the concept of what romance is to an African than listening to the mainstream platform as it does not give a solution but false hopes. It makes one be reactionary than being proactive. If your family dynamics are toxic, you must cut them off. Bury them and make sure you do not turn back. The only thing to cut off your toxic family dynamics is through your spiritual path, be sure to be pure, make deeper research about some traditions being practised in the family and make a decision if you will practice them or not by following your intuition.

People should listen to their intuition about the partner they are about to marry. They must go through spiritual procedures like going to a traditional doctor, prophet, astrologer etc. to know if their partner is one for them/not. Or if one does not believe in visiting those kinds of people, maybe you are a prayer warrior, and your spiritual guides do not want you to visit those kinds, you can simply pray and fast to get answers on whatever how it suits you whether you do it religiously/ spiritually

You must know their spiritual background on either are they good or a bad people because do not marry your partner only but the entire family. Get to know their cultural traditions and see if you can practice them or not. And if you do not feel comfortable, you can talk to them and express your feelings about it

Pray and talk to your guides about your situation, if the situation at home with your in-laws is on tough roads, you will understand the reason it had happened. Sometimes you will have the right in-laws but you will be tested to check if you are truly a good bride or groom to have patience for them and your marriage as a whole

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